just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
