Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
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I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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