On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
