Swine flu. Run for my life!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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