never play flip cup with pint glasses
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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