Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
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the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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