very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
