Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
