a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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