Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
