I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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