wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
