Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I love you.
Bad choice
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