Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She is in my trunk
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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