she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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