If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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