the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
