We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
