You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
