3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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