We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
