I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
