I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
