If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
