ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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