Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
