I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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