So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
