The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i out mim tonsoeep
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