I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
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Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
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She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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