one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize