hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
