I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
