why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
