If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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