I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
