WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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