Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
