I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
