I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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