Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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