I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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