It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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