Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
