Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
