My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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