I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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