after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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