Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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