you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
