True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
the gays at disneyland are vicious
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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