You just made me feel so damn special
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize