literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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