I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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