You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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