I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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